To all women out there…

For you… and for me…

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends".
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think "it will get better."
You‘ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…
Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships. ..there is nothing cute.

About baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…

A relationship..
Consists of two WHOLE individuals. ..look for someone complimentary. ..not supplementary.
Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes… when a man always knows where you are,and you‘re always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)…
You‘ll make someone smile, another rethinks her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Rgds/Oprah

Just don’t make the same mistake as I did…

Trust me, it’s painful…

In fact, my problems are not that big actually..  haha.. I mean, compared to people who lost someone they loved by accident.. or someone who lost their job, and don’t know what to eat tomorrow.. I saw my problems are small enough.. laughable enough.. haha.. but it tough.. tough enough for me.. God have brought me to the darkest time in my life.. where there is no light.. no light that i could depend on.. no light to see which way to go.. which side i’m in.. just alone.. just me.. God have brought me to my "cave". So what could I do? Just standing alone with no one to count on.. Only one.. only one to depend on.. my GOD.. surrender my all to GOD.. Faith works in the darkest time of my life.. where there’s nothing and no one to depend on.. no friends.. no family.. no relatives.. no one.. just me and my GOD..

Learnt something that called FAITH.. faith means surrender your all.. all ur life, all ur future, all ur problems, all people near u, all things, every single thing to ur GOD.. FAITH.. easy to say but really hard to do.. aku sampe pd satu titik di hidupku dimana rasane kekuatanku, usahaku, pikiranku, n segala ‘ku’ itu sudah ga berguna lg.. ga ada artinya.. all my senses just suddenly couldn’t be able to use.. and I knew that I forgot 1 thing.. I forgot that my life is in GOD’s hand.. I forgot that everything happened in my life is by the permission of my GOD..

Hm.. 22 years I lived my life with all the problems, all the obstacles I got to through, all the tough people I got to face. Just realized now, that GOD have prepared me carefully to face any kind of troubles in the future, which seems much tougher than I could ever imagine.. pada kenyataannya, tantangan atau masalah ga pernah bertambah mudah.. and I look at my self now, much wiser since I got through everything that happened.. GOD have prepared me to be HIS conqueror..

Haha.. the conclusion is.. emil naik kelas lagi ^^ hehe.. in the middle of it sih benere.. bln lulus jg.. masih berjuang.. tp aku percaya kalo aku pasti lulus.. hehe.. and then I’ll be ready to move forward.. face anything forward.. hmm..

Lately.. God has been so good to me.. soo good that He gave me the biggest problem in my life, that i never ever even think about.. for what? for making me just like Him more.. wahahaa.. sounds good rite? but in fact, it didn’t feel good at all.. =’( lucky me.. God still luph me so He want to make my path straight just like He want it to.. hahaha.. ini benere atas permintaan doaku sih.. dulu aq pernah doa.. "Tuhan, paksakan kehendakMu dlm hidupku".. and so He did.. ^^ God has forced His way to me.. and it hurts a lot.. a really lot.. i never think that i have any capability 4 handling this kind of problem.. but in fact.. i already can pass it =) with good grade of course.. hahahaha.. A+.. =P

anyway, the main point is i want to thank some persons who have made a great deal in my life..

1. GOD for sure.. wahaha.. i mention YOU a lot already.. thank u so much 4 giving me trust and luph that i couldn’t even imagine.. thx 4 crying with me.. thx 4 promising me sweet things when i least expect it. hahaha..
2. Papa Mama 4 sure.. hahahah.. gile pengertian poll piro hari ini masio ga tau lek anak e lg ada masalah.. hehehehe.. parent’s feeling, never doubt it…
3. Papi Fedy.. sorry 4 bothering u at 3 o’clock in the morning.. wahahaha.. u have taught me soo much that helped me through this problem.. thanks 4 ur time n cares.. hahaha.. best papi ever.. =)
4. Fenny’e Ko Fed.. =) thx 4 ur cares.. thx 2 remind me ’bout ‘puasa’.. hahaha.. lek ga gt lupa fen.. thx buat jd pendengar keluhan2 ku.. hahaha.. thx buat ngertiin semua perasaanku.. emang cewek tok yg isa ngerti =)
5. DiM".. tacik Joyo yg mau menukarkan waktunya yg berharga u/ cari duit buat nemenin aq.. wahahaha.. thx 4 ur quick response.. buat perhatianne.. n buat tangan yg megangin aq pas udah keroso ga kuat..
6. MooK =).. my very2 best pren yg belain dateng jauh2 cuma gara2 kuatir ma emil.. hahaha.. maap tidak menelepon mu Mook.. takut ga kuat.. lek telp pasti nangis" ga karuan.. thx soale mau nangis bareng emil.. hahaha.. emang kita tuh tukang nangis ya mook.. luph u ^^
7. Li2 ^^.. my dear pren yg sayang soro ma emil.. hahaha.. for sure.. =) thx buat kata2 membangun.. thx buat tangan yg meluk pundak e emil pas crita.. it sure means a lot 4 me.. thx juga buat air mata’e.. hix2.. sedih loh lek inget2.. rasane aq banyak buat temenq nangis..
8. Ci2.. makasih ya tacik nogo nusantara.. hahhaha.. masio sek bingung n repot gara2 masalah "tinggal 14 hari pengumpulan skripsi".. sek mbelan2i dtg ke mall.. dengerin crita e emil n ngasih wisely advices..
9. DeSi.. my clumsy friend (bok nangis lg loh des).. hahahaha.. thx buat perhatianne.. straightly ask if u could call me, soon after u knew i have burdens in my life.. makasih ya say.. hahaha.. mbelani ke mall masio cik ‘P’ mari coret2 skripsi mu… hahaha..
10. Ko HiZ.. hahaha.. sek inget pas kita chat ko.. ko2 banyak soro dukung emil =) makasih banyak.. sering ganggu ko2 pas kerja buat crita".. sungkan sampean.. hahahaha.. makasih juga buat buku’e.. it will make changes 4 sure..
11. VicToR.. hahaha.. emil masih seperti emil yg dulu kok tor.. dun worry.. i’m tough u know?? hahahaha.. thx 4 worrying me so much.. thx juga buat doa"ne n kata2 ‘hix’ yg sering soro ada pas chat.. hahaha.. it assure me that u support me =) makasih..
12. RoBeRT n REnO.. makasih udah mau bantu doa masio waktu itu aq ga isa crita masalah’e.. u’re true family of mine.. makasih soro.. it means a lot 4 me.. thx udah meyakinkanku dg bilang "tenang mil, kita doain kok".. thx a lot..
13. Ko CharliE.. hahaha.. buat pertanyaan "mil, how r u?" hahaha.. bukan koko banget deh.. anyway, makasih soro ya.. pas ko2 bilang gt isa kudu nangis.. hahaha.. terharu poll soale arek2 perhatian soro..
14. Ko Andre.. lola poll.. loading lama.. hahahhaa.. abis telat banget sih mikir’e.. =P makasih ya ko.. masio mek chatting bentar.. ko2 dah ngasih aq kekuatan.. n makasih buat buku’e.. hahaha.. masio paroan ma ko hiz =P
15. CheRRy n AconG.. thx for trusting me soo much.. yg kalian bilang semua itu, masih blon isa aq liat di diriku.. hahaha.. thx juga buat chatting e selama bbrp hari ini.. thx udah nguatin aq dlm banyak hal.. pls pray 4 me.. really need it..
16. Last but not least.. makasih buat koko ku tersayang.. =) makasih buat ngajarin banyak hal buat non e.. i learnt soo much this time.. thx ya ko.. luph u with all my heart.. and it will never change no matter what happened in our life.. belajar bareng yuk.. belajar jd serupa dg Kristus =) makasih buat effort nya ko2.. i know it’s not easy 4 u.. non cuma pengen ngingetin sama mimpi2 yg pernah kita bangun sama2, waktu2 indah, janji2, perjuangan selama ini, my never ending luph 4 u, our commitment, n all we’ve through 2gether.. yuk gandengan tangan sama Tuhan, jalan bareng menuju mimpi =) ‘aGe’ means lasts 4 ever.. rite?

hahaha.. lega poll dah ngomong panjang lebar.. capek sampean.. tp bener2 ngerasa bersyukur loh.. teman2 dan saudara2 yg udah Tuhan kirim.. duh.. LUPH U ALL!! hahaha especially buat temen" wanita ku.. hahaha.. dim2, li2, mook, ci2, n desi.. gilee nangis bareng ndek wendys.. malu ya toh diliatin ai2 yg bawa anak cewek itu.. hahaha.. thx buat respon yg luar biasa pas tau ada temen’e lg kena masalah..

duh.. can’t explain how i thank u all.. see GOD in you..

4 conclusion.. emil udah naik kelas =) udah belajar sabar, belajar memaafkan, belajar setia, belajar bergantung sepenuhnya sama Tuhan, belajar mikir positif, n sedang dlm proses belajar untuk melupakan (kata’e alkitab kan mengampuni dan melupakan.. hehehe.. lagi belajar nih). ThX 2 All My Dear Prens.. Luph u all ^^

1 tahun lagi sudah Tuhan kasih buat emil n adit.. thx GOD soo much 4 this wonderful relationship.. each n every day, i become more n more enjoying my life with him.. share more laugh, tears, fun, n joy 2gether.. could ask nothing more rather than him and only him by my side 4 the rest of my life.. he means even more than i could ever imagine..

he has given me : kesabaran yg ga ada habisnya..cinta yg begitu melimpah..waktu2 manis bersama..kepercayaan yg luar biasa..kehangatan yg tiada duanya..kebersamaan yg indah..tawa yg serasa tiada akhirnya..

Every single thing which makes my life milions times better.. and left me not even a single reason to say i could live my life without him..

These 4 years, makes me realize that…. he’s my sunshine..  my happiness n joy.. my idol.. my sweetest dear.. my stars at cloudy night.. my very best friend.. my blanket.. my best shopping pal.. my teacher.. my banana split.. my pineaple (berhubung aku suka nanas).. my cha sio pau ^^ .. my milkshake vanilla.. my super hero.. my blush on.. my lifetime partner.. and of course my future husband =)

see?? he’s my everything.. thx GOD 4 giving me best lifetime partner.. and i could not ask for more..

Luph him soooooooo muchhhhh.. mwah.. ^^

Anyway, back to the main topic.. aq lagi kuangen poll ma yang nama’e MS YOLA!! ga tau napa akhir2 ini kepikiran banget ma ms yo. ada sedikit perasaan menyesal soale ga isa dtg ke perpisahane ms yo. abis waktu itu cuapek buanget, abis ngumpulin skripsi, soo baru tidur jam stg 7 pagi n bangun jam 9. Yah.. apapun alasane, tetep ngerasa nyesel sih.. feel so lucky soale sek sempet ketemu pas di airport.. duh rasane lek inget2 pas di airport jadi pengen nangis =’(

My dear Ms Yo itu punya andil yg sangat besar dlm menjadikan emil seperti emil yg sekarang. Kalo inget2 pertama ketemu pas kelas English 1, rasane ms yo itu cek judes’e.. jahat gitu.. hehehehe.. yg pasti don’t judge the book by its cover, nyatanya ga jahat kok.. buaekk buanget (typical indonesian people, put letter u in every word they think its extraordinary). lek judes ya mayan sih.. hehehehe.. tp ga pernah judes ma emil kok =P trus berlanjut di kelas English 2-3, public speaking, n cross cultural communication. yg pasti ms yo the best deh kalo ngajar. trus kenangan yg ga akan pernah taklupain itu waktu LPBT ‘06. Ms Yo n emil berjuang bersama berperang melawan BIG DADDY. hehehehe.. sek inget ms yo ngomel2 gara2 mari di sms-i malem2 ma babe.. trus ada lg LPBT ‘07.. lega poll soale ms yo yg jadi sc-ne.. buanyak soro bantuane ms yo buat kita2.. trus yg paling melekat di ingatan itu waktu ms yo ndukung emil buat skripsi.. duh, pengen nangis rasane. masih teringat kata2 terakhir ms yo waktu di airport n message dari ms sebelon sidang. each and every single detail still remains in my mind and will stay still 4 d rest of my life..

Thx ya my dear Ms Yola.. Buat bantuan tidak terhingga yg pernah Ms kasih selama jadi dosen n kajur yg siiip.. luph u ^^

Padahal God is everywere..

God is in stars u see at night, God is in plants and animals around u, God is in people near u (family, friends, or enemy), and last but not least, GOD is in YOU. Liatlah sekelilingmu, dan kamu akan tahu kalau ALLAH turut berkarya dalam segala hal. ada keluarga kita dg karakteristik yg ga ada duanya, complicated friends, some enemies, semua yg membentuk kita jd org yg kuat. believe it or not, God is in ur heart, God is in ur mind, and God is in ur single step. Ga ada apapun yg terjadi tanpa Tuhan turut bekerja.. Segitu berharganya manusia itu buat Tuhan. He cares 4 each of us. That’s my GOD^^

Kadang wujud kita ga percaya kalo Tuhan itu ada waktu kita mulai mengeluh dan ga percaya. "Yaapa ya skripsiku?", "Duh, yaapa ini pasti ga selesai", those familiar sentences. Padahal kita tahu sekarang bahwa Tuhan turut bekerja dalam segala hal untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi orang yang mengasihi DIA. jadi sekarang tinggal cek aja, kita udah cukup mengasihi DIA ato belon. that simple. Yang pasti HIS love never fail 4 u n me.

Inspired by Finding God in unexpected places - Philip Yancey.

Masalah yg sekarang tuh, aq lagi mengalami kemalasan super yg melanda skripsi. rasane mualesss polll.. gileee.. aq baru menyadari kalo ternyata dalam diri manusia bisa ada kemalasan yg sebesar ini. rasane otak tuh dah penuh, ga isa n ga mau mengarang indah lagi =( hiks2.. gimana nih nasib skripsiku..

Selama 1 minggu ini rasane aq ga menghasilkan apapun yg positif buat skripsi. ga ada kemajuan blas, padahal waktu tinggal 1 bulan lagi.. after all the laziness, aq tahu kalo Papi mau ngajarin 1 pengertian lagi dalam hidupku :

"Hidup dalam Tuhan itu tidak berbicara mengenai pencapaian, tetapi bagaimana menjalani proses Tuhan dengan sempurna"

Waduh, isa rasane kayak tertusuk2 waktu diingetin. aq baru tau kalo waktu aq males itu aq dah mulai tidak menjalani proses Tuhan dengan sempurna.. Tuhan Yesus ga pernah males!! masak aq yg manusia hina ini males?? Sekali lagi aq tahu betapa Tuhan mencintaiku.. kalo ga sayang ngapain ditegur, tull ga??

Ya ini namane hidup dari iman yang satu ke iman yang lain. aq percaya abis melalui masalah ini pasti ada lagi yg bakalan muncul. Batu itu akan selalu ada, cuma tinggal kita aja yg nganggep itu halangan ato malah tantangan untuk jadi manusia yang lebih baik lagi ^^ God luph me so He wants me to be a better n better person through all my problems. Soo, ngucap syukur aja dalam segala sesuatu, karena segala yang ada di hidupku n hidupmu adalah BAIK adanya. Amin ^^

1. Kita kuatir soale kita udah mulai mengandalkan kekuatan kita sendiri. rasane capek poll soale aq ngeliat jalan panjang n sulit yg rasane hampir ga mungkin dilalui. aq lupa kalo aq punya GREAT FATHER in heaven yg bisa berbuat lebih dari yg pernah aq pikirin. sempet takut n kuatir skripsi ku ga selesai semester ini, tp aq cuma diingetin satu hal kalo kita cm perlu lakukan yg terbaik dengan cara dan kekuatan Tuhan lalu menyerahkan segala hasilnya untuk kepentingan Tuhan. it means that ada rencana Tuhan yg besar dalam setiap hasil dari usaha kita. aq percaya kalo jalan sulit yg harus dilalui itu akan melatih aq untuk jadi manusia yg lebih dewasa dan semakin menjadi seperti DIA. Amin..
2. Alasan yg kedua itu kita kuatir karena ada sesuatu yg akan dirugikan dari diri kita kalo sampe kekuatiran itu terjadi. tul ga?? aq sempet mikir kalo aq ga lulus semester ini, itu bakalan mencoreng (halah..) nama baik ku n keluargaku. yg pasti aq sempet ngerasa takut ga isa memenuhi keinginan e ma2 spy aq isa lulus semester ini. aq lupa kalo hidupku bukan aq lagi tapi YESUS yg hidup dalamku. emilnya udah mati, yg ada cm YESUS. so, ga ada apapun yg harus kupertahankan dalam hidupku. entah itu nama baik, pandangan orang, n so on. aq dibilangin ko2 kalo kadang yg menghambat rencana Tuhan dalam hidup kita itu waktu kita melakukan segala sesuatu itu untuk menyenangkan orang2 di sekitar kita, bukan untuk BAPA.

So, i hope my blog berguna buat temen2ku yg lagi dilanda kekuatiran dan rasa takut. coba dengerin lagu sidney yg di album emas shekinah 2. rasane jadi dikuatno poll ^^

Kau t’rangi jalanku, saat gelap datang..

B’ri ku cahaya pengharapan

Kau beri dekapMu, saat ku takut..

B’ri ku damai dan kekuatan

Hanya dekatMu, jiwaku tenang..

Dari padaMu pertolonganku

R/ Allah yg kupercaya.. tetap ‘tuk slamanya..

Allah yg kupercaya.. setia dan benar..

Bagai gunung batu yg tak akan goyah

JanjiMu setia.. Allah yg kupercaya..

quote from "Allah yg kupercaya" by Sidney Mohede..

Aq merasa bersyukur poll soale punya :

1. PAPI JC yg luar biasa

2. Temen2 yg menemaniku dlm suka dan duka (thx mook n  li2!!) => yg ikut nangis wkt aq nangis, n yg ketawa bareng pas lagi hepi

3. Papa Mama yg neleponin terus tanya kapan pulang. somehow aq jd ngerasa comfort and merasa dicintai, trus tau kalo masih ada papa mama yg nunggu di rumahku yg super duper nyaman => jd pengen cepetan pulang

4. ‘n yg pasti ko2 yg terbaik sedunia, yg selalu isa ngingetin non untuk bereaksi benar.

Waktu masalah dateng, aq cuma inget kothbah papa fedy yg bilang kalo tahta org benar itu kokoh karena kebenaran dan keadilan. aq percaya selama aq ga melakukan sumting wrong, PAPI JC yg akan ada di pihakku dan menjadi pembelaku. bersyukur soale ada masalah ini, soale aq jadi lebih dewasa, bisa bereaksi benar, n belajar buat ngmng sori masio ga ngerasa salah.

Capek-nya benere bukan cm gara2 ada masalah, tapu gara2 baru hari pertama aja dah pulang jam 11 mlm. gilee.. itu bln maem malem lagi. perutku dah perih2 yaapa gitu.. tapi rasane semangat lagi bis liat ko2ku mbela2in nunggu n jemput di kampus.. duh.. rasane ga ada yg isa taklakukno buat bales pengorbanan’e ko2.. thx hun.. luph u..

Udah ah.. capek ngetik.. udah hampir jam 12. n udah waktunya say thanx 2 THE LORD trus bo2k. makacih ya buat yg mau baca blog ku yg penuh keluh kesah ini. hohohoho.. GBU

Pertama’e sedih poll. soale selama ini ga pnah ada kejadian kyk gitu in my fam. sedih soro liat papa yg biasane penuh semangat, jadi tergeletak di kasur n lemes poll. sampe tanya ma Papi, ini ujian, cobaan, ato teguran? n ampe sekarang masih belon tau jawabane. kalo di rs sih berusaha keliatan tegar, tp kalo udah crita2 ma ko2, bawaane jd pengen nangis n meratapi diri. hehehehe…

Akhirnya hari ini udah lumayan isa nerima sih. belajar buat liat sisi positifnya masio angel poll. kan Tuhan turut bekerja dalam segala sesuatu untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi orang yang mengasihi Dia. Amen.. kan udah saatnya dapet hikmat n pengertian =)

Selain itu dapet dukungan juga dari arek2 JF. soale ga lupa minta bantuan doa, n aq percaya arek2 pasti doain. that’s what community are for. arek2 juga perhatian poll, n tanya keadaane papa terus. so, jd semangat lg waktu mau mulai sedih2 n meratapi diri.

the conclusion is, aq percaya ada rencana Tuhan dibalik ini semua. n aq percaya papa pasti sembuh dalam waktu dekat. Amen.. =)